Zwierzalnia – May 15, 2020

Life can be crazy sometimes. It’s a common fact of life. We may not know a lot of things as we venture into the world that is our future, but one thing’s for certain. Nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. Some are borderline embarrassing, while others are straight up hilarious. Share with us your crazy/funny stories! We know you want to!

New stories will be published on Fridays.


WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND

One day, when I finished my classes, I got on a public bus with my friends (who also took the bus home) to head home. It didn’t take us long to start chatting about what we wanted to do the next day on Friday night. I honestly don’t know what came over me, but I blurted out without thinking that we should have a party at my house, because my parents would be out of town. Everyone, as expected, seemed super on board with this but then one of my closest friends asked me: “Wouldn’t your parents catch on, though?” I chuckled and replied: “Don’t be ridiculous. They practically eat out of my hand. I pulled so many stunts on them and still to this day they don’t know anything.” To prove them my point, I started to proudly list all the things that I did, while others looked at me rather impressed. When I finished, I crossed my arms in satisfaction and smirked to myself, clearly happy with my achievements. Then, suddenly a person who was seated in front of me slowly turned around to face me, and my smirk left as quickly as it appeared, when I realized that it was my mom, who undeniably heard the entire conversation. Needless to say I was grounded for a very very long time.


DOPÓKI WKŁAD WAS NIE ROZŁĄCZY…

Historia ta ma swój początek w jednej z drogerii. Ja czekam w dość sporej kolejce, tymczasem mój narzeczony podchodzi do półek ze świecami zapachowymi, podgrzewaczami, itd. Widzę że patrzy, ogląda, dokonał wyboru i idzie w moją stronę, bardzo zadowolony z wyboru, bo w sumie i ładne wybrał i tanie, przyglądam się etykiecie, a tam wyraźny napis: wkład do znicza, no ale… i ładny i tani.


THE ART OF METHOD ACTING

If I had to describe myself with one word it would be… unfortunate. You will understand why by the end of this story. A lot of people in my school joined after school clubs: computer club, science club, art club etc. I was a drama club nerd myself, so as you can probably imagine I enjoyed my time there immensely. At the end of each school year we would always put on a play that we would perform it in front of the entire school, but this time it was a little bit different. Our drama teacher wrote his own play so on that particular year we performed something that hasn’t been done before. Like ever. My role was quite a complex one; I was basically playing a girl who was acting totally insane. She would occasionally whisper to herself and laugh maniacally. I didn’t want to practice the lines in my house, because I didn’t want my parents or neighbors to overhear me and  think that I was going mad, so I got in my car, drove to an empty parking lot and went completely nuts. After I memorized most of my lines (which were on my lap) I moved on to the whispering and laughing parts. I gave it my all. I was laughing so hard that tears were literally forming around my eyes. I still don’t know what compelled me to look away from my notes, but I did and I froze. A car that wasn’t there before was parked close to mine and a guy who was behind the wheel looked very disturbed by what I was doing. I must have looked like a complete psycho to him! Just laughing like a maniac, with wide glossy eyes staring ahead. Then instead of driving away or ignoring the guy completely I did something even more stupid. I sent him an awkward smile and waved in his direction. I have never seen a guy drive away that fast in my entire life. But hey, I’ve performed my part really well on stage, so at least I got something out of it!