Zwierzalnia – June 19, 2020

Life can be crazy sometimes. It’s a common fact of life. We may not know a lot of things as we venture into the world that is our future, but one thing’s for certain. Nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. Some are borderline embarrassing, while others are straight up hilarious. Share with us your crazy/funny stories! We know you want to!

New stories will be published on Fridays.


GOSSIPING ABOUT A BIRTHDAY GIRL

When my cousin celebrated her eighteenth birthday, her family went all out to make her big day special. I’m talking a nice venue, an awesome DJ, great catering. I have to admit that I was really impressed. Of course our entire family was there to celebrate with her, but she also invited dozen of friends from her school circle as well, so as you can imagine it was a huge party. She received a lot of presents that day but the winner of the evening was a brand new car that my cousin’s dad gifted her in front of all the guests. About 10 minutes later I had to go to the bathroom, so when I arrived there I headed straight for one of the cubicles that was not occupied. Suddenly I heard two girls walk in. I could hear them by the sinks, so I figured that they went to the bathroom to fix their makeup. From their voices alone, I already gathered that they were my cousin’s friends. I tried my best not to listen in to their conversation, but I completely froze when I heard my cousin’s name being mentioned. They were talking smack about her and one of them said something along the lines of: “Have you seen them trying to show off to us with that car? Do they think they’re some fucking aristocracy or something?” Then I heard the other go: “Shh!” because from what I can imagine, she must have realized that they were not alone in the bathroom. When I left the cubicle, both of them froze dead in their tracks and not meeting my eyes they quickly left the bathroom. They knew that they fucked up big time. I of course, told my cousin everything and she was really shocked because she considered them close friends. Apparently, when they left the bathroom they immediately left the party and my cousin was super confused because they didn’t even say bye. Now she knows that they left simply because they were afraid of confrontation.


MAKE A WISH!

Zbliżały się urodziny mojego Narzeczonego, nie mogliśmy spędzić ich razem, dlatego będąc weekend wcześniej uznałam, że wykorzystam ten moment; miała nas odwiedzić również jego mama stąd też decyzja o spontanicznym zakupie ciasta które “miało robić za tort”. Świeczki odpalone, sto lat odśpiewane: “pomyśl życzenie Kochanie i zdmuchnij świeczki”. W momencie zdmuchiwania świeczek, okazało się, że góra ciasta obsypana była kakao, dużą ilością kakao, które wylądowało na moim ubraniu i podłodze. Mogłabym zakończyć tę historyjkę jak w jednym z czasopism “śmiechom nie było końca”, ale po prostu odłożyłam ciasto i posprzątałam to co zostało “nakurzone”.

BOW-TASTIC BIRTHDAY!

About 2 years ago, when it was my fiancés birthday I decided to wrap myself around with a red bow to give him myself as a birthday gift. Yes, you read that right. Sound cheesy, I know. He was still at work so I made sure that everything would look perfect. I purchased some nice candles, opened a bottle of an expensive red wine and put on some classic music in the background. Oh, one more thing, I wore nothing but lingerie. I know it’s a weird detail to mention, but it’s a really essential element of the story. If I hadn’t only worn lingerie then that story wouldn’t be totally embarrassing. When I heard him come in I immediately rushed into the living room and in my best sultry voice I said: “Happy birthday, love.” but froze like a deer in  headlights when I realized that he was not alone. Apparently, his parents surprised him as he was leaving work and they wanted to invite both of us to go to a restaurant with them, because they booked a table for his birthday. Without saying hello to them I ran to the bedroom and stayed there for solid 5 minutes, until my very amused fiancé showed up to tell me that we’re going to have dinner with his parents. As you can probably imagine the car ride to the restaurant was really awkward.