Zwierzalnia – July 31, 2020

Life can be crazy sometimes. It’s a common fact of life. We may not know a lot of things as we venture into the world that is our future, but one thing’s for certain. Nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. Some are borderline embarrassing, while others are straight up hilarious. Share with us your crazy/funny stories! We know you want to!

New stories will be published on Fridays.


BURPING CONTEST

I was at a party and I was fooling around with my mates. A really close friend of mine came up with an idea to do a burping contest. Charming, I know. When it was my turn I went all out. The pitch and the duration of that burp was absolutely insane. I still have no idea how I managed to pull that off. Now I know what you’re thinking. Why am I writing about this? It doesn’t sound that embarrassing. Gross, sure. But not embarrassing. Well, I got pretty embarrassed when I realized that the girl who I had a crush on for quite a while has witnessed the whole thing. Long story short, I may have won the burping contest, but I lost my shot with that girl.

AWKWARD QUESTION

When I was fifteen my younger brother was looking for something in the bathroom and he stumbled upon my tampon packets that were stored in one of the cupboards. Like most seven year olds he was really curious so he came into my room and asked me what they were. A little flustered I replied: “You stick it in your nose when you get a nosebleed.” Luckily, he accepted this kind of answer, so I presumed that he would soon forget that we had this discussion. I was wrong. Few weeks later, he barged into the kitchen while I was having breakfast with our parents and in an accusatory tone he asked which one of us had a nosebleed that day whilst holding a bloody tampon in his hand. I completely lost my appetite that day.

PROJECT PARTNERS

My class and I had to make presentations in pairs and, as luck would have it, I ended up with a guy that I liked. We decided to go to my house after school to get started on our project. My parents were in the house, so without much hesitation, my crush shook hands with my parents, but before he had the chance to properly introduce himself to them, my mom said. “Such a polite young man! I bet he’s even more handsome than that Michael guy, you’re so obsessed with.” Spoiler alert: Michael was my crush and he just found via my mother that I was ‘obsessed’ with him.